Sunday, October 24, 2010
Ice Cream
I was 6, maybe 7. Francine would've been five-ish. As a rule, we were strictly forbidden from buying anything from ice cream trucks. My dad believed they sold drugs to kids. (Since ice cream is like crack to kids, I guess they do in a way, but that's not what he meant.)
So this ice cream truck rolls up our street and all the kids come running out of their houses. I run into ours to grab a jar of change that Francine and I were saving. My Dad sees me running through the house with this jar and he says "you're not running to that ice cream truck are you?" And of course I dutifully tell him, "no dad, ice cream trucks sell drugs and drugs are bad." I'm sure I have him fooled. I leave the house and go straight for the ice cream truck.
Francine sees me heading out the front door with the jar and reminds me that we're not allowed to buy anything from ice cream trucks. So I tell her that I spoke to dad (truth) and he says its okay (one tiny fib). Ecstatic, she grabs the jar and runs for the truck. Mikey, Joey, and Diane are laughing their asses off because they know there's no way my dad would say we could buy anything from an ice cream truck. But I know I can get away with this because the only one who would tell on me is little Francine and if she buys an ice cream, she'll be in as much trouble as me if she gets caught. Sound reasoning of a six-year-old.
Being discreet, I buy a pack of candy cigarettes from the driver and hide them in my toy purse. Francine, on the other hand, buys the messiest ice-cream cone she can get her little paws on. Within minutes, its all over her face, her hair, her toes. I don't anticipate the mess. That was the hole in my plan. Of course, my dad finds out we'd been to the ice cream truck (it doesn't take a rocket scientist after seeing Francine) and he's not happy. He's sees right through me. Francine gets a delicious ice cream cone for my genius plan and I get a (well-deserved) spanking. :)
So this ice cream truck rolls up our street and all the kids come running out of their houses. I run into ours to grab a jar of change that Francine and I were saving. My Dad sees me running through the house with this jar and he says "you're not running to that ice cream truck are you?" And of course I dutifully tell him, "no dad, ice cream trucks sell drugs and drugs are bad." I'm sure I have him fooled. I leave the house and go straight for the ice cream truck.
Francine sees me heading out the front door with the jar and reminds me that we're not allowed to buy anything from ice cream trucks. So I tell her that I spoke to dad (truth) and he says its okay (one tiny fib). Ecstatic, she grabs the jar and runs for the truck. Mikey, Joey, and Diane are laughing their asses off because they know there's no way my dad would say we could buy anything from an ice cream truck. But I know I can get away with this because the only one who would tell on me is little Francine and if she buys an ice cream, she'll be in as much trouble as me if she gets caught. Sound reasoning of a six-year-old.
Being discreet, I buy a pack of candy cigarettes from the driver and hide them in my toy purse. Francine, on the other hand, buys the messiest ice-cream cone she can get her little paws on. Within minutes, its all over her face, her hair, her toes. I don't anticipate the mess. That was the hole in my plan. Of course, my dad finds out we'd been to the ice cream truck (it doesn't take a rocket scientist after seeing Francine) and he's not happy. He's sees right through me. Francine gets a delicious ice cream cone for my genius plan and I get a (well-deserved) spanking. :)
Smartees
I was eight and Francine was seven. We walked down to the corner market where they were selling smartees candies. We didn't have any money, but being the brat I was I decided I was going to help myself and slipped a smartees into my pocket. Of course Francine saw me and being the genuinely honest person she was could not stand by and watch a perfectly good rule brake. I knew she was about to make a scene and make me put it back, so I lied. I told her it was okay to take one piece of candy to sample. One piece of candy was free, I explained. The rule is that we're not allowed to take more than one piece. Well, that answer definitely made her happy. Unfortunately, the store manager saw her helping herself to her free sample of candy, pulled her into the back room and called our mom. Yikes. To her credit, Francine never told mom on me. I still respect her for that. Its more than her bratty big sister deserved. :)
Gypsies
As kids, I convinced my little sister Francine that she was left on our doorstep by Gypsies and that one day the Gypsies were going to come and take her back.
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